


times square can't shine as bright as you

by actuallyshua



Category: VICTON (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Dialogue Heavy, Established Relationship, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24437107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyshua/pseuds/actuallyshua
Summary: This was just temporary.A sacrifice.Sejun still remembered the day he knew their lives would change; Seven months gone now but still feeling fresh in his mind like a memory of yesterday.
Relationships: Choi Byungchan/Do Hanse, Heo Chan/Im Sejun
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	times square can't shine as bright as you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [epochjeong (pinkwinwin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkwinwin/gifts).



> this fic is the product of a little challenge shauna and i gave ourselves!  
> we gave ourselves a group and one-word to form a fic around
> 
> obviously we settled on victon and the word ended up being "sacrifice" 
> 
> please check out [shaunas fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24102187) here  
> it's so beautiful and it was really fascinating to see how differently we tackled the challenge!
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy!

Sejun was never really one for spontaneous decisions. He always found comfort in knowing his next move, next several moves in fact. Byungchan called him boring, and would poke fun at him for the calendar that was monetized to his refrigerator. But Sejun would just brush that off.

At least he was never late for anything. The same could certainly not be said for Byungchan.

But that was neither here nor there.

Because now, standing in his bathroom, Sejun was exploring a bit of the unknown. The buzzing that at first made his heart race was now somewhat soothing, Sejun enjoying the feeling of it running over his nape.

Hanse was standing behind him, all too wide of a smile on his face, and Byungchan to his left, scrolling boredly through his phone and rambling about his psychology professor.

Sejun looked to the ground for a moment, chunks of blue hair now littering the once almost too clean white tile. This had only started because Sejun was thinking of getting a trim, the usual routine of him sitting in the kitchen while Hanse dusted the ends of his hair with scissors. But this time, something was different.

Maybe he was just tired of routine for once.

But suddenly Hanse was dragging him into the bathroom and even more suddenly, his hair was clean shaven on the sides, and “a little bit off the top!”

Or so Hanse said.

The clippers stopped buzzing and Hanse set them down on the counter, dusting off Sejun’s shoulders before working his hands through the top of his hair with some product Sejun would more than likely have to get used to using.

Perks of a hairstylist roommate, he supposed. Free drastic haircuts and products that smelled like pineapples.

“You’re all set! What do you think?” Hanse held his hands out behind Sejun like he was presenting him with a prize. And maybe he was.

Sejun leaned forward, moving his head from left to right and using his hands to toy with the locks that remained.

“I love it.”

“You look so sharp!” Byunchan spoke up, nudging him with an elbow, “Who knew you had such a handsome face? It was always covered by all that hair.”

“Your compliment doesn’t mean a whole lot when it’s followed by something like that, you know?”

A roll of Byunchan’s eyes was all that could be seen before he exited the bathroom, clearly bored of the goings-on and Hanse chuckled to himself, leaning against the door frame, “It really does look great on you. Not just saying that as both your best friend and personal stylist. What do you think Chan is going to say?”

Chan.

“Shit!” Was the first thought that Sejun had, nearly knocking Hanse over as he darted out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. The clock on his nightstand was a glaring reminder of his mishap, something that never happened.

Maybe today was just a day of going off the beaten path.

But this, this was much worse than a haircut.

He grabbed his phone off the charger and immediately groaned.

_Three Missed Calls: Chan_

Sejun mumbled several choice words to himself as he slid behind his desk, opening Skype with shaky hands and a bead of nervous sweat immediately starting to trail down his neck.

He knew it wouldn’t take long for Chan’s face to appear on the screen, a myriad of emotions painting the boy’s face before he smiled wide. Sejun almost melted into his chair.

“You get a pass for being late and unreachable only because, oh my god! Your hair!”

“Do you like it?”

Chan leaned closer to the screen, “I love it. Give my regards to Hanse.”

The two sat in silence for a moment, Sejun drinking in the pixelated sight before him. One he hadn’t seen in a while. They were both too busy, too tired, too wrapped up in their separate lives to make time for each other over the past two weeks. They shared quick phone calls when they could, endless streams of texts and Snaps of what they were doing.

Chan had made some new friends and enjoyed a night out exploring the city that stole him away from Sejun. The videos made Sejun smile but there was always that tug on his heart. Pulling him much closer to sadness than to joy.

How he wished he could be there laughing with him. Walking down the city streets with him.

Holding him.

“I miss you.” He breathed out, folding his hands together on his desk to keep from reaching out and touching the screen. That would be a bit too dramatic, he thought.

“I miss you too, so much. I literally would not shut up today about seeing you. My friends heard all about you for hours.”

“Oh really? They loved that, I’m sure.” Sejun lifted the heavy air around them with the cocking of his eyebrow, eliciting a laugh from Chan.

“I’m pretty sure they wanted to punch me after the first fifteen minutes. Oh, I think Subin, my friend from dance composition class, might be coming home with me when we come back for winter break. I know he’ll want to see family of course but maybe he could stay with us?”

_With us._

It reminded Sejun that Chan was never too far away, not really. He still considered this apartment his home. It was what got Sejun through the nights where he would be staring at the empty pillow, untouched since Chan left. He would tell himself that the space would be full soon enough.

This was just temporary.

A sacrifice.

He still remembered the day he knew their lives would change; Seven months gone now but still feeling fresh in his mind like a memory of yesterday.

••●••

“Just open it already!” Byungchan screamed from his spot in the living room, pacing back and forth as though it was his dream that was being held in the envelope between Chan’s hands.

The letter had come to their mailbox four hours ago and yet, was still sealed.

Sejun kept his hands on Chan’s shoulders, the boy seated at the kitchen table with his eyes wide and right leg bouncing up and down. He’d gotten seven acceptance letters so far, just as Sejun knew he would.

But this one was the one that mattered.

“Hey.” He slid down in the chair next to Chan, sliding his hand underneath one of Chan’s and giving it a gentle squeeze, “I promised you I wouldn’t jinx it by saying anything and I’m certainly not going to start now. But you are going to have to open it eventually. No matter what it says, we’re all here for you.”

“What if I don’t get in?” Chan spoke in a voice just above a whisper, sounding close to tears. Sejun was quick to scoot himself closer, almost impossibly so, and drown out whatever thoughts Chan was having.

“Remember how much I used to nag you about staying at the studio so late getting your audition ready? And remember the trip to New York? Hanse and Byungchan made signs for you to see when we came back.” Chan laughed at this, the memory always a fond one. Sejun wiped away a stray tear that finally found its way down his cheek, “Remember that? Remember the smile on your face when you walked out of that auditorium? What did you tell me?”

Chan took a deep breath in, “I said that I felt really good about it.”

“Exactly. And I know, whoever was in that room watching you, they saw exactly what everyone else sees when you dance. They saw nothing but perfection. Chan, they would be stupid to deny you. It would be their loss.”

“Yeah!” Hanse piped up, so loudly that both Chan and Sejun jumped in their seats, “You tell me who to call if they do. I’ll shave their heads in the middle of the night.”

“Babe, you really have to stop threatening to shave people’s heads. One day I’m worried that itch is going to be too unbearable and you’re going to scratch it via shaving my head.”

Byungchan was joking. Mostly.

“Come on.” Sejun directed the conversation back to Chan, “Let’s open it together.”

It took another fifteen minutes to get the envelope open. Another three for Chan to slide the paper out of it. An additional six more him to read it because he stood up to pace, holding it against his chest, muttering that he wanted to read it alone.

Sejun knew why.

He would be embarrassed if it said no and everyone was there to see it written down.

Finally, with this breath caught in his throat, Sejun watched as Chan’s eyes scanned the paper. Once, twice, three times.

Even from miles away, Sejun knew when Chan was going to cry. Really cry.

“What does it say?” He asked carefully, standing from the table. Chan looked up at him, all watery eyes and an expression that was foreign to Sejun. Hanse and Byungchan shot unsure glances between each other, the air so thick Sejun swore he could feel it between his fingers.

Sejun didn’t even have the chance to blink before Chan’s body was on his, arms wrapped tightly around his neck and chest heaving with a sob. It was hard to tell what that meant. He’d cried when he’d gotten accepted to other schools, sure, but it wasn’t like this.

Assuming the worst, Sejun held him tightly. Reminded him to breathe. Peppered gentle kisses on his head.

“Chan, I’m so sor–”

“I did it.”

Spoken in a whisper, almost inaudible. Sejun paused every action, frozen in place.

It was Chan who pulled away first, hands reaching up to cup Sejun’s face with nothing but light and love and joy in his eyes.

“I did it.” He spoke again, louder for the world to hear, “ _I got in._ ”

••●••

“Of course he can stay with us. Make sure to give him a heads up about Hanse and Byungchan.”

“I miss them.” Chan groaned, “At least my roommates now make me feel surrounded by chaos still.”

“How are they? Seungsik and Seungwoo, right?”

Sejun had seen them a handful of times in Chan’s late night Snaps, even talked to Seungsik once when he was in the room during a Skype call. They seemed nice, funny, safe; Sejun took comfort knowing that Chan had them to rely on.

“Yeah! They’re good. They’re on a date tonight.”

Sejun hummed at this, “And so are we!”

Chan leaned forward again, hands on his cheeks and pout on his lips, “I want to go on a real date. Not being able to kiss you is really starting to make me go insane. And seeing you with this haircut is doing things to my mind.” Chan ended the statement with a coy wink.

“Hey!” Sejun barked out with a laugh, “We said no sexy talk tonight! It’s like midnight there and you have to sleep soon.”

“Oh, so I’m not allowed to think my boyfriend looks sexy?”

Sejun shook his head, pushing away and swallowing down the rising heat in his body, “You are but take it easy, tiger. I’ll cut it again before you get back.”

“Fine, fine. You never let me have any fun.”

It was a lie and both of them knew it but Sejun took the blame anyway. He always would because Chan looked the cutest when he was pouting about something.

“You should get some sleep soon.” His tone was laced with sadness, he knew that. Sometimes it was too hard to mask.

“Can I ask you a stupid question?” Chan shifted his pose again, knees now up to his chest and his chin resting on them. Sejun followed suit, getting more comfortable in his chair and imaging the real thing sitting across from him, not just his laptop.

“Of course.”

Chan paused for a moment, staring at Sejun before speaking, “Do you sleep well without me?”

He was torn.

He could lie and say yes. Say yes to ease any worries Chan might have. But maybe Chan didn’t sleep well without him. Maybe him saying yes would hurt him.

He could be honest and say no.

“No.” Sejun decided on.

“Me either. Sometimes I forget where I am, you know? I’ll get into bed and get ready to say goodnight. I’ll reach for the side of the bed and,” He paused again, chewing on his bottom lip with a sigh, “You’re not there. It makes me want to pack up and take the next flight home.”

“As much as I would love to encourage that, I can’t. We only have…” Sejun trailed off, Chan quick to pick it back up with a snark in his voice.

“Four more years.”

Sejun didn’t like to think about that. In fact, he pretended that that wasn’t their situation. When Chan left, Sejun told himself that Chan was just going on a long vacation. A vacation that required him to pack up every article of clothing he had, save one t-shirt and one hoodie for Sejun to cry into on the nights when the pain was too strong.

“It’s worth it.”

“Is it?”

“Don’t do that, Chan.” Sejun shook his head quickly, “Don’t make yourself feel bad for leaving. We already talked about this. You and I? We have forever to be together. But you being there? That’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

Chan leaned his head back against his chair, a sigh escaping his lips as he did so.

“The night before I left, you told me that if anyone could survive this, we could.” He looked back towards the screen, “You still think that, right?”

“I know that.”

Sejun watched with a shattering heart as Chan wiped away at his face quickly, a smile forming despite the tears.

“I love you. And I miss you. And I hate how much I relate to Hey There Delilah these days.” They both laughed at this, “I don’t even like that song.”

“ _Hey there, Chan. What’s it like in New York City?_ ”

“Oh my god, no.”

“ _I’m a thousand miles away but boy, tonight you look so pretty._ ”

“Sejun, I will hang up right now.”

Sejun took a deep breath before belting, “ _Oh, it’s what you do to me!_ ”

Chan was too far lost in his laughter to form a sentence, Sejun only smiling because the sight filled him with so much joy he thought he was about to burst.

They had to relish in these moments.

The only time they had together. The only way they could be.

Sejun snapped a screenshot of the call quickly, before Chan could notice and make fun of him for it. He would add it to the folder with the others after they hung up.

“I have to go to sleep now. What are you going to do today?”

“Memorize the rest of Hey There Delilah to perform to you on our next call.”

Chan groaned loudly, “Do literally anything else but that. Please. And while you’re at it, tell our friends to return my calls! I’m tired of being ghosted by them.”

“I’ll pass it along. Text me when you wake up, okay?”

“I always do. I love you, Sejun.”

Sejun soaked in the last moments before they said goodbye. Chan’s sleepy eyes and the way his hands disappeared under the sleeves of his too big hoodie. His messy hair. Everything about him.

“I love you too, Chan.”

And then, nothing.

The moments after their calls ended were always strange for Sejun. It was like a confusing inbetween of a dream and reality. Slowly, he started to come back down from the high that was Chan. He closed his laptop and looked around the room, the place feeling lifeless now.

Sejun had the entire day ahead of him. He could get some work done. He could watch a movie with Hanse and Byungchan. He could do anything he wanted.

He settled on grabbing the hoodie Chan had left behind for him and crawling into their bed, holding it close to his chest and breathing in the last remaining bits of Chan’s cologne. Peace washed over him, mixed with twinges of sadness.

But he wouldn’t let that get to him. He couldn’t.

Because if anyone could survive this, it was them.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! comments kudos yadda yadda always appreciated! 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/SOHNlSM)


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